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Striving for mediocrity in a world of excelence, The Chaser is a media empire which rivals Rupert Murdoch’s in all fields except power, influence, popularity and profitability.
Scientists deeply worried after climate disaster reaches “white people wearing facemasks” level
"I didn't wear one for swine flu, but I'll wear one now."
Silhouette of Scott Morrison assures Australia that all possible aid will be given to New Zealand
Doritos sales skyrocket as Sydneysiders flock to their bags of air
Morrison on Sydney climate fires: “There’s nothing to see here”
Report: Everything Fine And Normal
DUTTON DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS: Border Force patrols stepped up
Baked good left to cool for 0.5 seconds
Boycott ban backfires, entire government arrested after calling for Coles boycott
Local News
“Hare Hare, Hare Krishna” still top of Hare Krishna music charts
Father introduces son to life-long hatred of fishing
Man being arrested
Criminal regrets “assisting police with their enquiries”
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World News
Royal physician confirms Prince Andrew is definitely having no trouble sweating now
Queen cancels Prince Andrew’s birthday, begins preparations for funeral
God holds press conference to distance Himself from Israel Folau
Trump honors 30 years since the Berlin Wall by promising to build an even bigger wall
Scott Morrison concerned climate protests are making apocalypse a bit inconvenient
Congress to grill Tom from Myspace on how the site is protecting its sole user’s data
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Shovel Politics
Albo Returns To Traditional Labor Values, Promising To Distribute Climate Change More Equally Across Entire Nation
Australian Movies Must Now Include At Least One Road In A Lead Role, After Arts Department Dissolved Into Department For Infrastructure & Transport?
Angus Taylor Says He Knows For Certain Naomi Wolf Was At Oxford In 1991 Because He Had A Medical Condition Which Meant He Couldn’t Sweat ?
Racist Young Liberals To Be Disciplined With Two Terms In Senate
Rural MP George Christensen Says He Went To A Manila Strip Club 28 Times To Help Break The Drought?
Nation Rushes To Get Counselling After Imagining George Christensen In A Strip Club ?
Real Estate
Minister who forgot about buying house luckily still remembered to negatively gear it
Sultan of Brunei flaunts wealth by purchasing room in decrepit Sydney sharehouse
UN called in to resolve washing-up stalemate
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